No. I'm pretty sure it never happened. My Father wouldn't do that. I mean he wants me to be good, so I can be a real boy someday, but he wouldn't chop me up if I wasn't.
[Not yet, anyway. If he died and went to an even worse story, is that the sort of twist waiting for him?
Damn. Where's his bottle at? He's feeling shaky all over again.]
It's kind of a whole thing? Like, if I'm really good and never ever lie or make a mistake or get into shit, then the Fairy with the Turquoise Hair is supposed to make me a real boy. Not a puppet.
like every REAL boy and girl can lie, they can steal, they can do whatever they want and no one turns them into anything else, or hangs them, or puts dog collars on them and makes them guard their grapes. But me? It's open fucking season! Every day, every week!
And sometimes you have to lie! Sometimes you have to steal, or do something "bad" because the person you're talking to is a million times worse than you and they'll GET you if you don't get them first!
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...it swallowed??????
[Please don't say you saw that whole mess. Please just say you chopped its head off and logged out.]
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Did that actually happen?
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[This is less than ideal.
There's a significant pause.]
No. I'm pretty sure it never happened. My Father wouldn't do that. I mean he wants me to be good, so I can be a real boy someday, but he wouldn't chop me up if I wasn't.
[Not yet, anyway. If he died and went to an even worse story, is that the sort of twist waiting for him?
Damn. Where's his bottle at? He's feeling shaky all over again.]
sorry i died
Big same honestly
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How are you supposed to do that?
I mean, it's got to be impossible to never lie or make a mistake or get into shit. We all do it.
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like every REAL boy and girl can lie, they can steal, they can do whatever they want and no one turns them into anything else, or hangs them, or puts dog collars on them and makes them guard their grapes. But me? It's open fucking season! Every day, every week!
And sometimes you have to lie! Sometimes you have to steal, or do something "bad" because the person you're talking to is a million times worse than you and they'll GET you if you don't get them first!
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So how are you not a real boy now?
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And wow as if he didn't feel shitty enough. Pinocchio grimaces at the phone, taking a petulant pause before replying.]
Isn't it obvious? I fucked up. I got to be real for a bit but then one day I had no choice but to lie. Now I'm a puppet again.